OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
