your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
