If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
