I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
