So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
