I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
