Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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