Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
