you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
