She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
