I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
