I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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