A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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