she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
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