i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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