I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he was CRYING into my vagina
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
