Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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