Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I deserve this hangover.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
