This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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