i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
