i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Randomize
