Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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