Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
