btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
