found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
