My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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