Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
