First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
