There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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