he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
it glows. i had to have it.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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