Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
