he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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