I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
