New invention idea: vibrating tampons
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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