maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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