It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
