I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The power of my boobs compel you
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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