M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
