i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
