I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
