question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
