Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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