May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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