Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
