I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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