Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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