Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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