You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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