On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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