Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I see more hoeing in ur future
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
