somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
