I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
