I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
